How to be Assertive? Here are 5 Strong Habits to Help You Communicate Better

admin September 28, 2021 0

 

 Ziepnet - Assertiveness is the ability for people who are good at communicating in any aspect.

If you want to know how to be assertive or good at communication, read on in this article to the end.

Keep in mind, it's not easy to get this special ability, therefore you have to be serious about practicing it.

As quoted by PotentialBisnis.com from yourtango.com, here's an explanation of how to be assertive and 5 strong habits to help you communicate better.

If you want to train yourself on how to be assertive, it's best to start small.

While major changes may occur, it is important to remember that Rome was not built in a day.

In this metaphor, Rome is what you will become when you can communicate directly and effectively, drama-free.

The more assertive you are, the more respected you will be.

"To be assertive," says Expert and Clinical Hypnotherapist and Spiritual Life Coach.

"You have to be in tune with your core self and speak your truth.

You don't have to justify or prove anything, just speak your truth with calm composure."

Three ways to be assertive are to practice saying no, practice what you are going to say, and keep your emotions under control.

But that's not all. Here are more ways to start your assertiveness training.

Good luck! It will be a bumpy ride. Do not worry! This will be very valuable in the long run.

1. Set limits.

Assertive people are able to set boundaries in a clear and reasonable tone.

Assertive people know exactly what they feel comfortable doing and not doing.

They have no problem saying no to their loved ones and are comfortable setting boundaries with family, friends, and colleagues.

A person who struggles to set boundaries may feel guilty about letting people down.

If you're trying to learn to be more assertive, setting boundaries is a good start.

If you don't want to talk on the phone with your mom every day, let her know that your schedule is too busy to talk on the phone.

Maybe you have two friends who don't get along, and one of them keeps trying to use you as an intermediary.

You will feel much better if you set boundaries with your friends.

“Listen,” you could say, “I love you both and want to be good friends to both of you.

I'm not the right person to talk about this because it's not good for our friendship to get involved.

2. Stand up straight.

When it comes to assertive communication, body language is everything.

Another great way to practice assertive communication is to practice your posture.

For some people, expressing their need is uncomfortable and you can tell by the way they bend down and avoid eye contact.

Paying attention to your body during a confrontation is a fantastic way to learn to be more assertive.

This shows that you believe in yourself, and people will have a harder time taking advantage of you if you believe in yourself.

3. Offer solutions.

Stick to the facts, and keep emotions away from them.

Say you are struggling to maintain peace in your life situation.

Instead of going behind your roommate and dragging his name like a stick through the mud, talk to him directly.

Telling him he's a dirty, disgusting slob is not an example of assertive communication.

However, offering a solution shows that you are committed to cleaning consistently.

Ask your roommate if the task wheel would make things easier, or would switching tasks make things better?

There's no need to attack anyone personally. Confident people don't need to bring other people down, even if they feel they are in the right.

Identify what you want, and strive for success.

4. Maintain a neutral facial expression.

This one is a lot easier than it sounds, but it's also important.

You are perfectly allowed to have angry thoughts and feelings towards someone, but save those frustrations for your therapist or your journal.

An important step in your assertiveness training is staying calm during a confrontation.

You can be assertive without being rude by keeping your facial expression neutral.

Making fun of someone or rolling your eyes at them will only make things worse.

Assertive people want to make things better for themselves and drama doesn't include that.

5. Use "I" Statements

Practice assertive communication using “I” statements. This allows you to communicate your needs without sounding accusatory or hostile.

You can be more assertive without being rude by refusing to make disrespectful accusations.For example, instead of saying "You're wrong for forgetting to wash the dishes."

Say something like, "I feel a lot better when the kitchen is clean, and when I see the dishes in the sink it makes me feel tired."

Imagine that you are on the receiving end of what you are saying.How would you feel if someone said, "You're wrong," over something as common as housework?

If this is difficult for you to do, you can always practice what you want to say beforehand. Maybe a workshop with your friends.

What is the difference between passive, aggressive, and assertive communication?

• Passive communication

The passive communication style may seem relaxed at first, but it usually leads to passive-aggressive behavior.

Passive people present themselves as someone who goes with the flow. Usually, they are not as easy as you think.

Not everyone needs a cleaning schedule or cares if you leave your laptop on the charger.

But assuming someone has no needs is a bit unreasonable.

Setting boundaries can put a person in a stressful situation, especially if they are struggling with their mental health.

Passive communicators tend to please people and are driven by their intense fear to prevent others from getting angry with them.

Being too passive gives people permission to walk around you. If people walk around you, you will hate them even more.

•  Aggressive communication

Aggressive communication style is not the same as assertive. In fact, assertiveness and aggression couldn't be more different.

Aggressive people ignore the needs and opinions of others.

They will often confuse being rude with setting boundaries.

Aggressive people operate in "my way or attitude" and have a hard time accepting that people are okay.

Aggressive communication is defined by emotional intensity, minimal empathy, and a desire to "win" the argument.

They also have a distorted understanding of what it means to stick to themselves.

Calling someone trash in front of him, was not an example of defending oneself. It was aggressive and rude

• Assertive communication

Assertive people are driven by their desire to form relationships with others.

Remember that a connection is not always a friendship or a romantic relationship.

If you share your home with someone you don't like, for example, being assertive doesn't mean you have to get to the root of each other's emotional problems.

However, assertive people are able to be clear, calm, and level-headed. An assertive person leaves drama at the door, but can be direct.

The three C's for assertive communication are Confident, Clear, and Controlled.

Confidence means that you believe in yourself to handle the conflict at hand.

Obviously means your message is very easy to understand. Controlled means that you convey your information in a controlled tone.

What are the benefits of being assertive?

• High self-esteem

The more you practice assertiveness, the more confident you will look and the more confident you will feel.

The beautiful thing about self-confidence is that it permeates all other aspects of your life.

Christine Hourd, Expert and Success and Leadership Coach, says, "Being shy or socially anxious is a barrier to achieving personal and professional ambitions.

But it doesn't have to be. Instead of focusing on your thoughts, place your attention on the person. you talk to."

"By practicing this you will begin to perform and sound more confident and knowledgeable," he continued.

"You will also add more value to the conversation."

•  Earn the respect of others.

There are ways to take the highway without compromising your needs.

You are allowed to take space from someone, cut off contact with them, or hang up.

Assertive people earn someone's respect because they know what they need and they know how to go after it without being rude.

It empowers others to take care of themselves.

•  Create a win-win situation.

In a win-win situation, no one loses.

Petty and aggressive people thrive on revenge. They want to see them fail because to them, it means they succeeded.

Assertive people do not feel rejuvenated by the suffering of others. In the end, they want to get along with everyone.

Remember that rude people will not respect themselves in the end.

•  Build healthier relationships.

Assertive people attract assertive people. If you are open, honest, fair and clear minded in your communication style.

People will love spending time with you.

Conflict is inevitable in every relationship. But if you handle conflicts with perseverance and grace, people will respect and trust you.

You will have a healthy relationship. The better you set boundaries for yourself, the better you will respect other people's boundaries.